Perverse pro-pigeon propaganda

The New York Times prints this today:

IT should come as little surprise to Americans, especially those living in cities, that Ken Livingstone, the mayor of London, has declared war on the pigeons of Trafalgar Square. Mr. Livingstone's primitive and cruel tactics — forced starvation and the use of raptors — are all too common, particularly in our own country.

Damn right. And we need more of these tactics.

Take New York City, where over the years there have been numerous reports of the poisoning and purposeful torture of pigeons. And while the city has thankfully outlawed the use of avicides, it has turned a blind eye to the weekly poaching of thousands of pigeons, which are then sold to Pennsylvania gun clubs for use as live target practice. Last year, to much fanfare, one New Yorker even came out with a book that illustrates 101 ways to murder a pigeon.

Leading the way, as always. Pigeons are detestable creatures deserving only of buckshot.

One thing alone leads to an overpopulation of pigeons: overfeeding. Pigeons breed only when food is available. When food is overly bountiful, as was the case at Trafalgar Square for many years, pigeons will mate as often as possible — up to six times a year. When food is scarce, mating drops drastically as the flock anxiously forages for food.

Although some view pigeons as "rats with wings," we should keep in mind that they also bring joy to millions who appreciate how they animate our cities. After all, it's not Lord Nelson's column that attracts flocks of tourists from around the world to Trafalgar Square; it's the birds. When the socialite Paris Hilton was fined for feeding London's pigeons not long ago, she claimed that she enjoyed feeding the pigeons at Trafalgar even more than shopping.

Look, if the "see Trafalgar for the pigeons" theory were true, people would be flocking to every landfill in London and New York. But they don't. As to Miz Hilton, her familiarity with those winged sluts of the air probably stems from their shared habits of fucking in public and carrying disease.