Protesting too much

Heh. Time for a little bit of clear-eyed objective analysis; is the person who wrote the following perhaps in denial?

"Guys I'd Probably Like To Do If I Were Gay, Which I'm Not."

For the first installment of this cutting edge new feature, the man I'd like to highlight for my nomination of "Guys I'd Probably Like to Do, If I Were Gay, Which I'm Not" is: Matthew McConaughey.[...]

Guys who aren't gay don't even think of features like this.

You know, Matt and me, we'd be buds. It would probably help that I'm not ACTUALLY gay, and as such, wouldn't keep making leading suggestions about a quick dip in the hot tub and just one more glass of Pinot Noir.

Given the scenario quite a bit of thought, eh?

Yeah, Matt and me, we'd hang. I'll bet he drinks domestic beer. Probably a Microbrew, though, cuz, well, he IS Matt McConaughey. Why Drink Schlitz when there's Hale's Moss Bay Extra?

Especially when you can lick it off McConaughey's rippling pecs, in a totally heterosexual way, of course.

And that accent, I'm telling ya, if I was gay (which I'm not) that rolling, laid-back drawl of his would get me all a twitter. In theory, of course.

No, you don't need to be gay just because you're basically creaming yourself fantasizing about some guy. But it would probably help.