Osama bin Bush

So John Kerry has a side gig as Osama's speech writer, huh?

Let's check that out, shall we? Here's some quotes from Osama's 'letter to America'.

The American people are the ones who employ both their men and their women in the American Forces which attack us.

Yup, Osama has a problem with women in the military - just like the righties.

You separate religion from your policies, contradicting the pure nature which affirms Absolute Authority to the Lord and your Creator.

You listening, Alito?

We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants [and] gambling.

It appears that Osama has a problem with gays, too - just like the righties.

You are a nation that permits acts of immorality, and you consider them to be pillars of personal freedom.

Looks like Osama hates the right to choose, too.

Who can forget your President Clinton's immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he 'made a mistake', after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations?

... and he watches Faux "News".

You are a nation that permits gambling in its all forms. The companies practice this as well, resulting in the investments becoming active and the criminals becoming rich.

Wasn't Ralph Reed using much the same language while Abramoff was pumping warm dollars up his ass?

You use women to serve passengers, visitors, and strangers to increase your profit margins. You then rant that you support the liberation of women.

Well, Democrats do; the party of Phyllis Schlafly doesn't.

You are a nation that practices the trade of sex in all its forms, directly and indirectly. Giant corporations and establishments are established on this, under the name of art, entertainment, tourism and freedom, and other deceptive names you attribute to it.

I still have the flyer I picked up in Ohio in 2004 with the 'Hollywood values, not our values' campaign drivel.

Your law is the law of the rich and wealthy people, who hold sway in their political parties, and fund their election campaigns with their gifts. Behind them stand the Jews, who control your policies, media and economy.

Cue bitching about McCain-Feingold.

So, as you can see, the only thing to wonder about is whether you missed Osama's speech at the RNC Convention.