The republican party - Putrid Fount of Disease

In response to a recent blog posting - which claims that Democrats are the party of death, because we're pro-choice, kill babies, want euthanasia, whatever - I now will explore a fascinating theory: is the contemporary republican party a pernicious fount of disease?

Is the right wing itself a disease?

Well, duh, yeah. Note the prescient poster from DHIA in the 1950s - the harlot wears Red.

Consider: wingnuts bow every morning in front of images of their god, confessed alcoholic George Bush. Said Bush has also often been accused of doing a little blow on the side. Unfortunately, alcoholism and drug addiction are both serious diseases.

Of course, right-wing ratings queen Rush Liarbaugh , well, let's not add to her indignities further by going into detail about her drug use or even her hypocrisy - diseases both.

Bill O'Reilly seemingly has a comparable addiction to dildos, as evidenced by his recent settlement - rumored to stand at $6.5 million - with a former employee alleging his phantasies involving same. Certainly, he's a compulsive liar - need we mention that this particular form of dementia is also symptomatic of mental illness?

Bill Bennett, of course, is a compulsive gambler, and reputed visitor to some rather, well, assertive ladies. He also wants to abort all black babies. In short, he's definitely sick.

So much for individual wingnuts - what about their organization? Is wingnuttery itself a disease? If yes, is it mental, physical, or perhaps both?

As we have learned ever since Newt Gingrich - whom Stalin has positively identified as the patient zero of Wingnutteria Debilitans Gasbaggia Immensa - burst into the national consciousness like a bout of bad heartburn, wingnuttery is indeed a disease, probably spread by a virus. Consider the symptoms: one day, you're normal and worry about car payments, the next, you're standing outside an abortion clinic and throwing ketchup at people. This is caused by either of two infection methods:

• One, watching Faux "News" without exposure to normal media, sunlight, or enough Vitamin D.
• Two, being directly exposed to any amount of the froth dripping from the mouth of a wingnut commentator like O'Reilly, Liarbaugh, or, for a really bad case - Wingnutteria Hannitensis Atrocis Catastrophalis - Sean Hannity. Just stepping in a trace amount of this pernicious, infectious drool - say, on the subway - will turn you into one of the pod people.
  

This, then, is the core reason why wingnuts oppose universal health coverage. They're afraid of their constituency being cured, and of more effective vaccines being developed. I mean, we got rid of polio and smallpox - can right-wing extremism be far behind, especially considering that it is far more pernicious to the commonweal?

The symptoms apparently are both physical - witness Ann Coulter's wasted frame, and conversely, Rush Liarbag's obscene bloat - and mental. I mean, listen to either of them, or read a newspaper, for crying out loud. Would the country be in such a mess if the people running it weren't sick?

There is a cure, though. You just need to get fucked over royally by the wingnuts; their effluvium produces anti-bodies. Given that America has this substance dripping out of our collective ass, perhaps this plague is nearing its natural end. Until then, get lots of fresh air, eat your veggies, and give til it hurts here, here, and here.