Stalin stares down salad

Let me explain to my daddies a few things about my dietary habits; I know they read my blog, so this is perhaps a good place to do so.

My main food groups are, in descending order of preference, penguins, surfers, teenagers, subway riders, and canned tuna.

Note that this list does not include salad.

Why, then, do you confront me with this vile rabbit feed every day? I can see through the tricks with different kinds of dressing, you know.