Republicans: Hell-bound Satanists?

Our title image shows Ann Coulter descending into the pits of Hades for the first time; but as you know, she has since been sent back to enlarge Satan's realm.

My main question, which I'm trowing open for debate, is this: is the contemporary reactionary movement Satanic? On the face of it, the answer is a resounding Yes - but once you dig a little deeper, the truth becomes even clearer and more obvious. It appears that the Lord of Darkness has a congressional majority and a slew of web sites, media outlets and think tanks these days.

Consider: George Bush is directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of human beings worldwide. If that's not the mark of the beast, what is?

The reactionary reign is based on lies, such as "You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie" or "We have found the weapons of mass destruction". This too is a mark of darkest satanism. Hey, they've got an entire TV cable news network dedicated to that task.

Meanwhile, the Catholic Church is infested with child-molesting priests. Gee, I wonder who they voted for - the alcoholic draft-dodger or the war hero? This dark work is ecumenical, of course: consider the obvious evil of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, cloven-hoofed servants of the Lord of the Flies both - with TV channels, no less. Take a look at their bank statements if you have any doubt about whose side they're on.

The money-changers - the guys that Jesus threw out of the temple, in the one example of His ever throwing a tantrum - are now referred to as "lobbyists". One of them, Haley Barbour, now governs an entire state that was recently ravaged by a monster hurricane - a clear sign that God isn't putting up with this crap anymore.

Most insidiously of all, the satanists (R)-US are cloaking themselves in righteous rhetoric to hide their foul designs. They talk of "protecting marriage", while what they're really trying to do is make people forget about that Sermon on the Mount thing.

Repent, reactionaries. Otherwise, you'll join Ann Coulter for an eternity in flames. Satan does not look kindly even on those who help him, and you know from looking at the Weather Channel about how God feels about your sorry asses.