Stalin Announces War Pigs of the Week

Stalin announces a new award: War Pig of the Week. Honorees will receive half a bloody pig carcass delivered to their home or office.

First out of the gate is Jonah Goldberg of Nazional Review, for calling Cindy Sheehan's supporters Nazis. Check your history books, Jonah: the Nazis were pretty much pro-war, just like you.

The second honoree is the young touchy-feely college republican in this video - Operation Yellow Elephant continues. Stop bitching and sign up, coward.

The third honoree is that woman from Move America into the Dark Ages that is organizing the anti-America, anti-Cindy, pro-Bush rally in Crawford. Turns out her kid is serving in the marines - good! - but is very much alive. Call us back when your kid buys it, war whore.

Update: Two more war pigs have been positively identified.

One is Tammy Pruett, Dear Leader's chosen war spokesmom. Just as with the harpy referenced above, her sons in Iraq are very much alive.

The other is Bobby Eberle. "Who's that?", you may rightfully ask. Well, Baghdad Bobby is the guy whose editorial discretion led him to employ the man who would become the first male prostitute ever to attend a White House press conference. In his most recent email, he gives space to one Doug Patton, who uses said space to attack - Chuck Hagel. According to Desperate Doug, Hagel, by criticizing Dear Leader's War, is lending aid and comfort to the enemy, betraying Ben Franklin, killing babies, pissing on Washington's grave, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever, Doug.

The bloody pig carcasses should be delivered shortly. Stalin recommends barbecuing, or perhaps using the pig blood in whatever secret initiation rituals the far right practices.