Sicko priest resigns over affair with woman

Stalin is appalled at the Catholic Church. The rector of Saint Patrick's Cathedral has resigned over what an outraged city is told is an affair with his secretary.

That's right, an affair with a woman, and an adult one at that.

On Monday, Philip DeFilippo, who is married to Monsignor Clark's secretary, Laura DeFilippo, filed court papers alleging the relationship as part of his divorce case against his wife, who has worked for Monsignor Clark for more than 25 years. Since then, newspapers and newscasts have carried videotape images provided by Mr. DeFilippo that show Monsignor Clark, 79, and Ms. DeFilippo, 46, entering a motel in the Hamptons last month and walking out five hours later in different clothing.

Shocking. They didn't even have the decency to do the deed in the sacristy. This lapse of good taste can only be explained by the liberal degeneracy Santorum is always bitching about; truly, this sordid scandal leaves the church's cherished, fiercely protected heritage of boy-bonking in tatters.

But it gets worse. What truly twists the knife is that the priest was not just shtupping an adult woman who happened to be married; no, he's also the type that rails about the morality of others from the pulpit.

"This is devastating not just because he's a power player in the Catholic community, but because he's such a well-known champion of orthodoxy," said William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.

Gee, Will. Looks like your boy toy rector just made even more of a jack-ass out of you.