Operations "Infinite Veuve" and "Enduring Sharkdom" launched

As part of the comprehensive effort to destroy "blue shark", who is a danger to all of sharkdom and especially to me, I, Stalin, have begun two operations intended to secure final victory over this impudent, freedom-hating upstart.

First, Operation "Infinite Veuve". The success of this operation is crucial. To defeat "blue shark", that epitome of depravity, we must ensure that this home of the free never runs out of Veuve Clicquot (or, alternatively, other high-end champagnes that retail for at least $40 a bottle). Stalin calls on you, dear reader, to stand tall against everything "blue shark" stands for by sending me as many bottles as you wish. Only you can defeat "blue shark" - he's counting on you to ignore this titanic struggle.

Then, Operation "Enduring Sharkdom". Stalin calls on all sharks everywhere, including freedom-loving blue sharks, to unite against this menace. "Blue shark" threatens us all, with his cannibalistic urges, his (or her, hmmm?) refusal to mate, and with his vicious, unwarranted, treacherous surprise attack on my champagne supply.

We will not let him win. Freedom, and Stalin the Shark, will prevail.